What I Journal is Only for Myself

Being an introvert, writing has always provided me with a sense of companionship, giving me a space where I could articulate my thoughts honestly and clearly. It has given me a direction where the threads of my continuous thoughts unwind themselves creating a beautiful way to relieve them from the tangled mess that my mind created.

I feel that exploring the depths of the thinking mind is easier when the words are written than when they are spoken. Writing often helps me to connect with myself, allowing me to reflect and think out loud without the fear of judgement.

On many days people don't get me, and maybe on some days I don't get myself, and I find writing down such frustrations help clear my mind.

Sometimes I forgive people after reading what I have written. Somehow those words present themselves as an invisible counsellor listening with patience while simultaneously awakening and strengthening my capability to understand people and situations.

Apart from the therapeutic experience that I have with writing, I also find it immensely joyful.

Everything that has caught my attention competes to take the shape of words in one way or the other. I love writing about the everyday life that appears mundane and taken for granted but still something in it sparks to stand out. And how that is different for everyone!

The love for writing almost always starts with the process of penning down our thoughts.

Journalling in particular is — sacred to me. Sometimes we don’t even understand what’s going on in our mind. And for that particular reason, I lean on to my pen and paper — and maybe some quiet space.

Over the years, my understanding for how and what to journal has kept on taking different directions. Few years back, I did it for showcasing the aesthetics and artistic ability of myself while writing. But a part of me was always fearful of writing the innermost core thoughts that I would have that particular moment. Jounalling along with being creative is great, but I realized that for me it was slowly becoming a burden weighed down by my thought of keeping it ‘good’,, ‘tidy’ and ‘aesthetic’.

But our thoughts are not always ‘good’.

Far from it.

They are messy and scattered.

When I made peace with the fact that what I journal is only for myself, I then was my most honest and authentic self. I wrote my deepest thoughts, with no concern of anyone else seeing it but me.

And that was when I didn’t find any need to remind myself to journal. I keep writing because I am honest and truthful when I do that, and I like being that version of myself.

All I need to journal on most days are a good pen, a book and my mind waiting to be cleared and understood of the thoughts.